Who the…?

Who are you? Ok great…so about me…

I was on the apprentice once. I didn’t win. But I didn’t get fired, either.

The quickest way to my heart is with Freddo bars. I love those little guys…..also, whiskey. Or whiskey flavoured Freddos (invent them, dammit!)

My favourite person to laugh at is myself … or in my sleep… or when it’s least appropriate.

Small talk… no. Banter… no.

Emojis make me uncomfortable.

I make lists for lists. Even this is a list.

Kanye’s ego is jealous of my ego.

Every sentence I say starts with “Right!” “Sorry” or “Soooo”

Quite a lot of things frustrate me. Mainly, people. Especially people who just stop. walking. for. no. reason.

Semi pro air drummer, retired air guitarist, undiscovered rap god.

I get too attached to browser tabs.My accent adapts to whoever I talk to. Like a verbal chameleon.

I still own my entire Pokemon card collection.I’ve spent too much time wondering why orange juice is yellow.It’s impossible to tell if I’m joking. I always am. …Joke.

I’m a tedious combination of a dry, awkward + sarcastic troll.

I wake up. I immediately make plans for dinner.

I can’t write anything without puns, metaphors, similies, alliteration or rhymes. Except that.

Mental health awareness/action advocate.